Bad Advice Hotline

We the Crystal Tits care so much for each and everyone of you that we have decided to extend our talents into the realm of Self-Help. We know that many people can come up with only one great idea in their entire lifetime, leaving the rest of it fraught with fear and uncertainty. This feeling of being lost and uninspired makes life’s most pressing decisions very difficult. The Bad Advice Hotline is THE antidote to a lifestyle of mediocre thinking and uncreative problem solving. As two girls with more ideas than China has bicycles, we give the unsure, the wayward and the lackluster some seriously good bad advice! The hotline not only counsels about career, family and romance but serves up sassy tips on the really important stuff like wardrobe dilemmas, how to find your signature dance move, and what haircut really is best for you. Let us help you to become the sexiest and most fun version of yourself!

The Crystal Tits

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